Fight for yourself
Late night thoughts: Part 12
In these first few months of the year, I've being going through all of the emotions - highest of highs, and some pretty low "lows". It's been a turbulent, but also freeing start to the year, which I'm crediting in part to Substack.
Prior to writing, I didn't have many avenues to open up about all of these complicated feelings and thoughts. Of course, I have people to talk to, but writing things out adds a whole new level of openness and vulnerability. I've allowed myself to open up as much as possible, and to really speak to what I've been holding inside and on my own for so long.
Even during my "low(er)" periods of time, I can now recognize more than ever that I'm going to be OK. I trust myself to be honest with myself and those around me when it comes to my wins and barriers. No more hiding by myself.
Recently, I watched The Woman King, with no expectations, but knowing that the powerhouse Viola Davis was the lead and that it's an important historical drama/action film.
After watching it in its entirety, I can say that it is an outstanding cinematic masterpiece, masterfully worked to cover many tough topics that ultimately hit me right in my heart.
It brought back some of my spark that I was sorely missing in the last few weeks, so I thought I'd spread that around.
I know this blog is not a movie review blog but keep reading and I hope you'll see why this is a topic I've chosen to expand on.
Obviously, if this is on your list of things to watch, read at your own leisure - this may contain spoilers!
Since I had no background into the historical or emotional aspects of this movie, I wasn't prepared for what would pull at my heartstrings the most.
Overcoming trauma, from many things, big and small.
Sisterhood/true connections, vengeance/resolution (in many forms!), and redefining power (positive versus negative power).
Badass group of women who protect those they love by any and all means necessary, and who are wholly respected far and wide. Women being recognized for their strength, wisdom, intelligence and skill.
The ability to change and grow in all seasons of life.
This starts with the leader telling a trainee that to be a warrior, they must kill their tears. Throughout the movie, during the climax/peak of the leaders’ toughest internal fight, she begins to show her emotion. After getting her revenge, and having earned the title of Woman King, she has a beautiful, healing, happy, FREEING cry - polar opposite of what she told the trainee not to do. She was able to grow and understand the power behind working through the heavy things and feeling everything. Accepting what has happened in life. Taking it and using it for power, love and internal strength.
They said so many quotes that grabbed my attention at a time when I needed something… ANYTHING to inspire and reignite my soul. Little reminders for everyone watching, just sprinkled in at beautiful times throughout the film.
"It is enough to make you cry, but it is better to laugh."
The first line to really hit me. As I've said a few times already, we all have our trauma, and pain in life. And it may be "easier said than done", but I've found that once you're honest with your feelings and circumstances, it becomes easier to not allow any of that to affect your day-to-day life. Life is hard, but I believe we can all get behind this: let's find the good in life, while dealing with the bad. Give yourself permission to feel all of it.
"You are powerful. More than you even know. Do not give your power away."
This, of course, can be taken in many different ways. But my take is this: everything we go through can either take our power and drive away, or it can fuel us. There should be no circumstance or person who is worth forfeiting any of the power that comes with working through everything that is good/bad.
"Sometimes a mouse can take down an elephant."
We may feel powerless and small in any given situation, but don't shortchange yourself. You may feel weak or insignificant, but you can surprise yourself and others if you give yourself the time to take new risks and challenges, and if you put your heart into what you're doing.
“Vision is seeing what others do not."
The beauty in life can be found by opening your mind (and your eyes) and focusing on every little thing to find the beauty and possibilities. Don't take those little things for granted. Take it all in. But in the same breath, in a society who is after instant gratification and taking the "easy road", look at the bigger picture of life as well.
"We fight not just for today but for the future."
It's important to remember that everything we did yesterday and do today affects our tomorrow and years from now. We need to fight for what we need and want in life. The fight we go through today, internally and externally, will influence everything moving forward. Push through for the future.
"Fear not. Face it head-on. Relentlessly, we will fight."
Fear is normal. But I like to stress being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Don't avoid anything out of fear, and the "what-ifs". Take that leap, raise your voice, follow your heart and head.
Last but not least, the Quote that really f**ked me up:
"I know what it is. In the dream. The beast I am so frightened of." *MOMENT OF REALIZATION* "It is me. It is the girl who was silenced (…) I have hidden her away. I have denied her pain. But I'm going to hear her now."
This was when I too understood that my nightmares aren't just based on the assault but are equally based on the fight internally prior to opening up completely, and listening to what my mind and my body and my SOUL were telling me to work on and work out. "T" (my assaulter) is the enemy, but without knowing it, I was also being my own enemy in a way, while I hid away and tried to do things on my own. Nightmares are ongoing, but I don’t believe they’re as heavy as they were prior to my choice to open up. I have my own back…again! Just in a healthier way. And I think my mind is understanding that.
This is all to say that we need to push past the barriers and roadblocks that come our way. Find inspiration. Trust that you have a purpose and people supporting you directly or indirectly. Have confidence in yourself to reach peaks in life that might strike up some fear. Fight for the life you want. And appreciate the small things, big things, easy things and scary things.
Obviously, these quotes and thoughts cover a wide range of the topics in the movie, but for my own personal healing and journey, they carry just as much weight and meaning. And I felt the need to share them with you, in case they can bring you some feelings, inspiration, clarity, etc.!
I hope your year is off to a strong start, and that it ends even stronger!
I care about you. You matter. Things get better. You are strong. You are loved. You are not alone.
*December 4th (titled “Hey there”) post has been made public. It’s a chat/discussion post (pretty open-ended). Please check it out when you can (in my profile via web browser or app!). I’d love to hear from you all!
What an amazing synopsis of the movie and personal interpretation applying the meaningful quotes to your own life, and others lives! I really loved this entry ❤️